Letters
Write a letter to Big Dead Place.
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9 Dec 03
Hey, how are ya doing down there. I know you folks down there want to keep the rest of us away but you keep dragging us in with your web pages. The best way to keep your secret is to shut the fuck up. Wouldn't you agree. It seems you each have a couple web pages and a thrice yearly article in National Geographic. I know it's lonely down there but that's what you went for right?
Your warm and toasty buddy in Pennsylvania,
Scorch the Electrician
Scorch,
Come on down, we need more straight-talking fuckers like you, even if you eventually get sent north for popping some dipshit in the head at a bad moment. 1-800-688-8606.
Warm regards,
F. Scott
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5 Dec 03
Protestant services will start this Sunday 07 DEC 2003. 11:30 in the upper part of the old galley.
Remember the reason for the season. Also, Prepare your heart through daily prayer and devotion.
Also, [Another of the Lord's Flock] and I are in discussion about non-denominational bible studdies[sic].
Know the reason for the hope we have.
[A Christian Who Found the Pole-All Email List]
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5 Dec 03
I'm sitting here bored and drunk and due to get off duty in a couple of hours and I have a question. If the movie "The Thing" wasn't real (and I think it was) then how do we know for sure we actually have people at the South Pole? Have you seen "Capricorn One"?
D
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30 Nov 03
Merry pre-Christmas greetings!
The Christian community here at Pole would like to offer an opportunity to reflect upon the reason for the Christmas season. Beginning December 1st through December 23, each Monday through Friday at 12:30 pm and then repeated at 12:30 am, someone with a laptop will sit at a table in the galley and show a few scenes from the DVD movie Jesus of Nazareth, by Franco Zeffirelli. The scenes will be shown chronologically so that the entire film can be seen by Christmas. Anyone is invited to pull up a chair before, during, or after eating and watch and listen to the scenes on the small screen. You may watch as little or as much of the featured scenes as you like. All are warmly invited to participate. Thanks for allowing us this opportunity.
Cheers,
The Christian community here at Pole
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28 Nov 03
There continues to be problems in the dorm spaces after evenings of socializing, frivolity and drinking. The ongoing issues of vomiting in bathrooms, halls and/or janitor closets and not being responsible and cleaning up after yourself is completely unacceptable. If you are one of the 2% group do the following;
1. If you are unable to "hold your liquor" reduce your intake.
2. If you find yourself getting sick, find the "white throne" and use it and then clean it and yourself up.
Any future issues will be dealt with accordingly but will begin with the following; If a problem occurs and it is not cleaned up by the responsible person or persons.....then all persons living on the floor of the affected dorm/living area will be brought back from work on Monday morning and they will, collectively, do the "house mouse" cleanup. It is not acceptable to place this disgusting task on the janitorial staff.
For those of you that find yourself in the 2% group, please demonstrate self control and personal responsibility. The other 98% will appreciate it. Thank you for your attention to this matter of personal and community health.
Regards,
Jim Scott
McMurdo Area Director
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22 Nov 03
Hello FUSP,
I'm a lyricist and jazz singer and just completed an album of Duke Ellington instrumentals with my added lyrics/vocals. One of the songs is a little ditty about Antarctica, entitled of course "Antarctica." I used Big Dead Place and one other site I don't seem to have bookmarked anymore, for references. Thanks for the inspiration.
Best wishes,
Lorraine
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19 Nov 03
Dear Sir,
I am writing you from Finland, Scandinavia. I turn to you in a really odd case. For many years I've been fascinated by the idea to get something from me to the North Pole and to the South Pole. Last year, two of my "teeth of wisdom" (molars) were removed by a dental surgeon and those teeth were after that disinfected and sealed in a bag. Since then I've had this weird idea, that I definitely want to get one wisdom teeth to the maximum South and the other one to the maximum North. So, I would like to know, if there are any chance to get a wisdom-tooth of mine to be buried in the Antarctic? This must be the oddest request you have ever heard of, but I am sincerely asking this. Please keep this email confidenial.
Sincerely,
Mr [O.H.]
Finland
Mr. H.,
We will gladly plunge that disinfected tooth of yours into the South Pole directly. Your seed thus planted in a mountain of shifting ice, it will begin its long creep to the Antarctic coast, accompanied by a thousand tons of raw American feces similarly hidden, and the impossible difficulties of ultimate glory will be yours to omit as you see fit. Send it to our contact at the South Pole: [name omitted], South Pole Station, PSC 468, Box 400, APO AP 96598. I agree that this is an "odd" request, but for reasons you may not have intended. Antarctic contract workers must have their wisdom teeth removed to be eligible for employment (a symbolic removal of undesirable faculties?), and I am amused at the prospect of a molarless American station importing wisdom teeth from another country. In the spirit of international cooperation, Big Dead Place agrees to underwrite your pathologically common jab at immortality, and will send you pictures of the proceedings.
Sincerely,
F. Scott Robert
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27 October 2003
[Letter recalled by request.]
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16 September 2003
Greetings All,
Please inform your employees that writing on the sides of the pickup trucks, even with your finger in accumulated snow or dirt, will cause the painted finish to be marred. It takes the VMF about three hours to buff out graffiti that people have written on the sides of the vehicles. Encourage your people to refrain from writing on vehicles. The vehicles are valued pieces of equipment and this type of activity reduces their value.
Thank You,
Don Brogan
Operations Supervisor
RPSC, McMurdo Station
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14 September 2003
Dear Citizen,
An imminent terror advisory has been implemented for the entire continental United States. Please see http://www.homelandsecurityagency.us for more information on the terror threat and recent technological advancements such as "freedom chambers" that may offer citizens protection in these troubled times.
Sincerely,
Allan Behm
Assistant Director of Security Outreach
Homeland Security Agency
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9 September 2003
I'm going to be heading down to McMurdo in a couple of weeks. My title is, "Admin Coordinator," or something equally disparaging. Do I have any idea what I will be doing? No... but, hey, it's life's little adventures that got me where I am today. Which is... well, living in a crappy apartment, working a crappy state accounting job, and, quite frankly, not at all where I thought my degree in history would get me. But I digress.
I'm excited for this little adventure, but equally determined to remind myself that it may not be all that it's cracked up to be. I am, of course, going to be working for far less than minimum wage, going from one cold to another (Alaska is my current residence), and going to sorely miss my Vanilla Chai Tea Latte. However, after stumbling upon your site (amazing what happens when you google "Antarctica" and "Fucked Up"), I am glad to know that not all hope is lost, and that someone down there is already preparing for the rather dry and tasteless humor that has become my trademark personality.
I'll have a cold one for you tonight. One that's not expired.
K
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7 Sep 2003
Hi there F,
Came across the letter from "A Kiwi Winterover" dated 29th March, wherein the writer did bitch and moan about "...an unthinking individual 'grumping' about a previous trip..." and how this somehow managed to curtail his right to a jolly good time hurtling all around the Ross Sea area. As the "grumping individual" mentioned I can say that if Antarctica New Zealand actually took notice of anything that I wrote or said then this would be a first. What was written was probably never even seen by the Antarctica New Zealand Board and if it was, I hardly think that it would have swayed them one way or another. The account was a humourous report on a trip to Cape Crozier that had more than its fair share of mechanical problems, which were all overcome safely. Not only that, our trip to Cape Crozier very nearly did not occur because of events of the previous winter --and "A Kiwi Winterover" would have intimate knowledge of that.
Having a fairly good idea who would apportion blame for the curtailing of his pleasure on anybody except himself, I can say that this is quite what I would expect from such a self-agrandising person. It is indeed a pity that such people cannot apply themselves to honest pursuits as vigourously as they pillory others.
Still one good thing has come of this chance encounter - I will know better than to bend over in front of this person ever again.
Probably will still be,
"Grumping" Individual
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2 September 2003
This letter is in response/addition to T's letter on 29 August. I am the wife he refers to. I came across your website in my quest to learn info on my upcoming first trip to McMurdo to work as a galley princess. The truths presented in your website are so refreshing. Thank you.
I am looking forward to my stint at the dishsink on the Ice,
but I will not be a PPP (Perky Pollyanna Person) thanks to the
reality your site has shown me. I really can't help but be so
excited about going though. I am effervescent and bubbling over.
Wish me luck. I understand from experience about hard work
and mountains of food encrusted pots and pans.
How did you feel about your first trip there?
How many times have you been there?
Why do you keep going back, (assuming you do)?
Warmest regards,
The Wife
P.S. T really does have a great sense of humor and everybody likes him, especially me. What a guy. He is not figuratively, but literally following me to the near end of the earth.
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29 August 2003
LOVE THE WEBSITE SO WHY AM I GOING TO MAC RATHER THAN PALMER (LAST 2 SUMMERS AT PALMER)
MY WIFE WANTS TO GO GOT A JOB IN THE GALLEY AND I STUPIDLY AGREED TO ACCOMPANY HER
WE ARENT EVEN FLYING DOWN TO THE SHIT HOLE TOGETHER
4 DAYS APART FOR GODSAKE
I MAY PULL THE PIN AT THE LAST MINUTE. SHE CAN GO AND ILL FEED THE DOG. I CANT STAND DENVER NITWITS ANY WAY
WHAT HAVE I FUCKIN DONE
T
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Write us at letters@bigdeadplace.com